Sleep Time

I have been wanting to post about Sam's current sleep habits, mainly what happens at night, but haven't known what it is that I really wanted to say. I was thinking about it tonight when I put him to bed and realized that our nighttime "routine" isn't really what is so special about that time. I would really rather Sam be able to be put to bed and go to sleep on his own every night, but lately that has not been the case.

It seems like 6 out of 7 nights, he is kinda wound up, either due to our daily schedule being a little out of the ordinary or possibly just getting enough sleep during the day (or maybe not enough) and being still mostly awake at bedtime (or possibly too tired other times). Most of the time it seems there is no specific reason. We are putting him to bed and he is calm, tired, but in a general good mood. We put him down in his crib and walk away, shut the light off, step out of the room and, "WaaaAAA", this most desperate cry follows us out the door. I don't know if he is going through some separation anxiety or just, as I said before, either too awake or too sleepy.

It has given me the opportunity to rock Sam to sleep most nights. He falls asleep in my arms and I get to spend about 5 minutes just looking at him by the light of his night light; barely identifiable shadow.

This time is precious to me. I am not wholly aware of why even now. It does embody the relationship I would like to have with my son. To leave him in peace, be "standing outside his door", and be at the ready to comfort and, when the time comes, support him through my strength, warmth and gentle embrace of love. It is through our daily relationship that I am able to build the trust and comfort with him necessary to bring him comfort in these times and it is good to know we are headed the right way.

Tonight he was fussing so hard as I came back in the room. As I picked him up and cradled him in my arms, the wails turned to sweet whimpers, to quiet coos; his eyes shutting almost immediately and I could tell his body relaxed as I felt his full weight in my arms. I stood there for longer than usual and just soaked it in, fully realizing my place in his life. I may feel like I am not cut out to be a good dad sometimes, like I lack something that is necessary, essential. However, it is times like these that those normal doubts vanish because they never really had any substance. It makes me want to strive harder, be better, to live life so that Sam will have the example he needs and so desperately deserves.

It has changed my perception of my heavenly father also; having a son of your own can evidently give you a glimpse of what God must want for us. He wants to be there, ready to swoop in when we call "Father", and already is if we would just call to Him. I guess I need to ponder that aspect more...

Went for a walk

I had been working out in the yard today and came in for lunch. Aimee was feeding Sam and afterwards he got quite upset. He just wouldn't calm down. He had several burps and didn't seem to have any evident bubbles in his tummy, but there was definitely something wrong. He was just screaming for over half an hour, seemed tired, but screamed worse when you tried to lay him down in the crib.

So... I decided he just needed some distraction and I put him in the stroller and started walking. We ended up going down to the river, crossing the bridge and going south along the bike path and he seemed to be doing much better almost immediately. I just kept walking, figuring he would fall asleep and I needed the exercise anyways. I just kept walking, figuring I would go to the bridge to the south, cross back over to the West side and go home with Sam adequately tuckered out if not asleep.



I did not plan that it was over 2 miles to the bridge and I didn't have any water, or a diaper bag for Sam. I was in my work clothes: t-shirt, jeans, work shoes, and my wide brimmed sun hat. My pants were all dirty and still a little wet from weeding and trying to pull out the grape vine stump. I am sure it was quite a site with me walking a stroller down the path in such a condition, but most eyes were on Sam and who cares otherwise.

We got to see some baby geese that were all over a lawn of some retirement place. They were quite cute but I was glad there was a rod iron fence between us and them, they were posturing like they were being protective. Or maybe interested in the slight squeak of the stroller.

Anywho, we got about a mile and a half and were still not at the bridge and I just got wore out. It was hot, I was hot, Sam was struggling every once in a while when the sun would get under the sun shade on the stroller. I finally put the burp clothe hung over the sun shade to provide additional shade over his face and that worked pretty good... then the stroller started squeaking; first the left front wheel and then the right front. Squeak..... Squeak..... Squeak... squeak.. Squeak... squeak.. Squeak. squeak..... Squeaksqueak.... (repeat) I am sure the lady I was following was about to go nuts; I sure was.

Without water and with the repeated squeaking I was just ready to give up. So I found a shady spot just before the bridge that overlooked a pond fed by the river and called Aimee to come pick us up. Going for the walk was a good idea, but just not very good execution or planning.

We had a fun time though and Sam was perfectly content through the whole trip, including the short stop by Fred Meyer on the way back to get him some more baby food (so we can continue to figure out how to make it ourselves and still have something to feed him in the meantime.) BTW, he sat in the cart and played with whatever he could get his hands on... the diaper bag handle, Aimee's purse strap, etc. very contently.

He was great and fell asleep in the carseat on the way home from FM, 1 mile. Ready for a nap when we got home, he slept for over an hour and then got up to eat again, happy as a lark. It was a great afternoon.

Rhodadendrin Garden Park

We went to the Rhododendron Garden Park this past weekend and Sam got to be in the grass for the first time. He didn't seem to know what to think of it at first, especially since we were coaxing him to look so we could take pictures. He didn't seem to mind it too much, but probably will have more fun in the grass when he can crawl around a little better.

It was very nice of Aimee to sacrifice her studying to have a day out with Sam and me. She is almost done with her degree and we both look forward to more times like these.

Daad deee... Daadd daaa

First Words...

Sam said his first recognizable word yesterday. I was taking his picture with a quilt we recieved in the mail yesterday from my Aunt Liz and Sam started saying Daad deee... Daadd daaaeee. He kept saying it over and over and has continued several times today. Quite exciting and special for me to be his first words, even though I have been trying to get him to call me "Papa". He definitely has a mind of his own and will call it what he does dispite my wished; which is actually the way I would have it anyways.

I got a video, but need to edit it cuz it got kinda big, so I will post when I get it done later.

5 minute conversation

I recorded a 5 minute conversation with my 25 week old (just over 5 months) son yesterday. I couldn't understand a word he said, but it was the most controlled jabbering he has made yet. I guess he started doing this last week when Aimee was feeding him but this is the first I had seen of it.

He seems quite taken with the prospect of getting himself understood and seems to be trying so hard to articulate what he is feeling. It was really neat to see him in such great spirit, just letting me know what was on his mind.

He has also been jabbering during meals now when he gets something new, like beans the other night, that he doesn't especially care for. You have to be careful not to stuff a bite in while he is doing this since most of it comes back out, either as spray or just runs down his chin. He makes the funniest faces and shudders from time to time; like when you get a bite of something that just doesn't taste all that great.

Rolling, rolling, rolling

Sam is really getting the hang of rolling over since his first time last week. He has realized that he can throw his head at the end to overcome his arm underneath him. He just today realized he could roll over in his crip too. He was maybe a little surprised when he was successful and wasn't too happy about it. I am sure he will master this in no time also.